Thursday, June 5, 2008

True story

A cut and paste of a conversation I had this morning with my friend Aubrey (whom I have known since we were five, who I also dated in high school, whose wedding party I was in when he married my best friend, and who was in my wedding party when I married my fantastic husband):

Sent at 8:29 AM on Thursday
me: i saw it last night. it's sad!
Aubrey: that was funny as hell
me: btw, this morning i saw a male duck chasing a female duck through the air
and then the female flew SMACK! into a third floor window of the library and fell.
so i ran around to see if she was ok, and when i got there, the two of them were on the ground having sex.
Aubrey: LOL
me: i had to drop some stuff off in my office and go back out to my car to get something
and when i came back out to go to the car
the male was still flapping around on her
Aubrey: nice
did we tell you about the ducks we saw in california?
me: this is right next to the sidewalk, by the way, so i thought that i'd better chase them away
Sent at 8:39 AM on Thursday
me: so i walked over and shooed them
and when he got off, i saw she was dead
Aubrey: ugh
me: he was (having intercourse with)* her dead body.
or attempting to
Aubrey: duck necrophilia
me: so i did chase him away, and he comes back, and i chase him away, and he waddles back. he kept trying to mount her!
Aubrey: we saw a duck gang bang in cali
me: finally i had to run after the (horrible, confused male duck)* until he flew away.
i felt so bad
gang bang! necrophilia!
ducks are (really crazy)*
Aubrey: word
Sent at 8:42 AM on Thursday
Aubrey's new status message - I'm not here right now 8:51 AM
me: I'm cutting and pasting this chat on my blog.
Aubrey: boobs
me: but i'll *cut out the bad words.
Aubrey: ( . Y . )

Indeed. Humor-wise, my friends are pretty much 14. Young at heart, kiddies... young at heart. Yes, it's a sad story. Also it was truly disturbing to see the male desperately try to hump the dead duck. Ugh.

Pictures later, folks. Have a grand day!


Lady Guedes said...

Thanks for your comment!
Since yesterday I've done almost five illos inspired by John Galliano's runway show.
Check it out later...

Cate said...

Hahahaha - Yes, that is a really sad little story! And sick - but he is right - there was a poolside duckie ganger in Cali when we were last there - really disturbing!

Good luck at the dentist - I will (literally) share in your pain!

Erin said...

the dentist stinks. literally.

my mom read this entry and I thought she'd be really upset by The Death in this story, but all she could talk about was that aubrey could figure out how to make realistic looking boobs by typing.

Anonymous said...

I can't help but wonder if that was normal behavior for the duck (weather male or female). Because she wasn't moving, he was trying to rouse her (not Arouse!!). It sounds more like that than the duck *expletive* dead duck!

Sorry if I killed it for you (excuse the pun) I know I didn't finish my Biology degree, but the almost biologist in me couldn't help but say that.

Now, I must go and cry for that poor dead duck...


Erin said...

Gin, you know-- originally, when walking up to the duck after I thought it was dead, I could only see the male flapping around on top of her, and i thought that was EXACTLY what was going on-- that he was taking care of her. but then i got closer and realized he was, indeed, getting his groove on. as in, beak pressed down firmly on her head, doing the desperate scoot. if you've ever seen a duck have sex (and besides this, i have one other, vivid duck-sex memory), it's not particularly... gentle.

the almost-biologist in me bows to the almost-biologist in you.

it is sad though, isn't it? it was. the chat we had was funny, but the event itself was pretty sad. :(

Anonymous said...

Yeah Erin, I'm a gonna retract my previous post ;)

Definitely sounds like a little sexual encounter was happening. Maybe he figured... okay, I'm just not going to go there.

Think of something else... something else... supper...

Instead, I'll simply go make supper! Drop biscuits, mashed potatoes and fried chicken. Yeah... okay... bye now.